vicarious thought

whilst pondering anime conventions and how things look in the dark and why my shirt is making my shoulder itch, i realized something i already knew, but didn't know i knew, and i've decided to share it with YOU.
when in the dark, closing your eyes may actually make the scene brighter, if you're paying any attention to the squiggles inside your eyelids at least.
this thought connects to the fact that since we're not aware of being asleep, from a subjective point of view we're always awake. when you close your eyes, you still see stuff, so still no rest.
this connects to stories i've heard about idiots who decide they didn't really want to trip after all, and then panic when they discover that closing their eyes doesn't make the visuals go away.
and in a way, this connects to something i decided a few days ago. i think fate and free will are actually the same thing. it solves alot of semantic problems, and it feels good on metaphorical terms, so to speak. and just like when you're tripping you have the option of having a good trip or a bad one, as you decide, but you're going to have to ride the trip out either way, your inescapable fate is to use your free will at every single moment of your life, whether you're aware of it or not.

but who cares about any of that shit?